Dreams
Over the past few months my dreams have taken a turn. I keep a dream journal, and write down the ones I remember. I’m usually on some adventure—fighting enemies, defending castles, surviving in a dystopian future, using magic, flying in space, etc. One of my friends told me that she wouldn’t need to watch tv if she had my dreams. Some of them could easily be turned into their own stories.
Over the past few months, they’ve become more about escaping. I’m running from monsters or other creatures. I’m trying to hide, or flee. I think many of them are anxiety dreams. My brain is very creative, and the stories it comes up with are fascinating in their own way.
Here are a few of them:
This dream is from June 15th, 2025.
I had to get the boats ready so we could leave. There were tall shadows with deer skull heads and four legs that ended in sharp points that would kill us if they found us.
They roamed the island, constantly on alert. Animals would go quiet when they were near. It was a beautiful island if only it wasn’t so dangerous.
I’m working on the 1st boat. They have this tall piece that juts up in the back with deer antlers attached to them. I adjusted the deer antlers on the 1st one and it was ready to go. It disappeared and the 2nd one appeared in its place. This little cove was only big enough for 1 boat at a time.
I fixed the antlers on the 2nd, so it disappeared, and the 3rd boat appeared. This one was slightly bigger and had 2 pieces coming up on the back with 2 sets of antlers on top. The set on the right was out of alignment. 1 of the antlers had a sharp angle in it that throws off the balance. I’ll straighten it up.
I begin sawing the crooked pieces of antler off. I stop and hide when I see one of the tall shadowy nightmares in the distance. Its deer skull head is just visible over the trees. It passes by without noticing me.
I get back to work sawing off that piece. Once it’s off, I turn it so it will be at a different angle and then shove it back on. It melds back onto the rest of itself. This angle will help it be better balanced.
With that, all of the boats are ready. I glance around the small cove 1 last time as people get on the boats. It really is a beautiful place. I wish I could stay and explore. If only it weren’t so dangerous.
Here’s another one. This dream was from June 24th, 2025.
I was walking around the city. I could almost pretend it was safe and pleasant. Tall concrete walls surrounded the city to keep us under control. They claim it’s to protect us, but they won’t let anyone leave without permission, and the average citizen will never be granted permission.
I was part of the resistance. We were digging a tunnel under the walls so we could get ourselves, and others, out. It would take a while, and we had to be careful not to get caught, but we were making progress.
I walked into a large city square and saw people gathered around a home aquarium that was sitting on a table.
I walked over and looked through the glass. To my horror, I realized the city had shrunk 2 people down to be about 4 inches tall and put them in here. This was a new form of punishment.
The bottom of the aquarium was covered in small, jagged rocks. There were 2 pieces of gnarled dead branches with clumps of dirt on them. Both men were sitting on the dirt clumps. One of the guys I didn’t know very well, and the other I didn’t like very much, but no one deserves this.
They had no privacy as people surrounded the tank, and pointed at them, watched them, tapped the glass, and treated them like animals in an exhibit. The bed of rocks was an especially cruel touch that limited their movement inside the small glass rectangular prison. At least they had some dirt they could sleep on.
I turned and looked up at the tall concrete walls towering over the buildings. Guards were up there watching both outside and in. Outside they watched for threats and inside for dissenters.
I turned and walked down an alleyway. I would go grab some things from a safe hidden in the city. The combination is 2039. I need to tell the others about this. We need to keep our heads down and get out of here as soon as possible.
That feeling of being trapped and needing to get out has been a recurring theme in my dreams. And the combination to the safe being 2039 in that last one is a bit on the nose, assuming my brain is relating it to 1939. I have a bunch that are all following that same theme in different ways.
Here’s one more that’s a little more whimsical:
This one was from May 16th, 2025.
I’m being dragged along into the chaos caused by a chaotic god. He’s pulled me into a big warehouse like room. The ceiling tiles are crumbling and hanging down in places.
He starts poking at them as he says, “see! They leave this in disarray. So chaotic.”
Some of the tiles start falling. He then bounces over to another area, poking some more. “Just a few prods here, and a few pokes there,” he says in a sing song voice, “and some hidden treasure here.”
He taps the ceiling, and a mound of coins appears on the ground. “Look at that! Any one of these would be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Take 1 or 50, a pocket full, and be set for life.”
I kneel down and look at them. They’re old gold coins in different denominations. I grab a small stack of each, and put them in my pocket. I pick up what looks like a smooth piece of plastic shaped like a sickle. I hold it up to him and ask, “ and this?”
He looks alarmed and snatches it, and then puts it on the ground and covers it with a loose brick. “She’s got cameras to spy,” he says.
He grabs a huge chunk of the mound of gold and then says, “and with that, I’ve gotta go,” and disappears.
A moment later another god appears. She looks miffed. She looks around the room muttering to herself, “trapped between fuzzy and rough.”
Finally her eyes land on the brick and she moves it, picking up the plastic piece. She snaps and the mound of money disappears. I can still feel the gold in my pocket.
“Let’s see what happened, shall we?” she asks me.
She disappears but instantly reappears. “He should know by now I see everything,” she says angrily.
She looks at me and says “it’s your lucky day. You can keep it. I have bigger problems to give a lesson to.”
With that she disappears.
I still have the coins in my pocket. I guess now I’ll never have to worry about money ever again.
My friend interpreted this chaotic goblin like god or spirit to be Trump, stealing money for his own personal gains. That feels like right, and would make sense. We’re watching him rob us all. But at least I wasn’t scared of some monster coming for me in that one.
Ready or Not
I haven’t finished everything I need to get done before I go. I still need to transfer my martial arts LLC over. Asylum is looking like a possibility in Canada now, but I’m not sure if that’s the right track or not.
My house still hasn’t sold. It’s looking more likely that I’ll have to rent it. I’m torn about that. On one hand, I love my house, and being able to keep it would be great. On the other, it’ll make things a lot harder. I’m not good at making money. I guess I’ll just have to do what I’ve always done and just make enough to survive.
I’m going to miss so many people here. Having to say goodbye to everyone has been hard. I love my friends and family. I’m glad I’ll have friends up in Canada, and that they’re letting me stay with them. I’ll still have a safe little community with them.
Maybe things will click into place up there with them. I get overwhelmed easily, and I’m a little worried about that. The uncertainty is overwhelming already. I’m not certain how long the border agent will give me when I go to Canada, I’ll have to always have cash on hand in case my card doesn’t work in some places, and I still don’t know how easy it will be to navigate the health care stuff for my chronic illnesses until I’m there doing it. But, at the same time, I’m excited to see them, as bittersweet as all of this is.
The full pain of it all hasn’t hit me yet, but I know it will.